Kai Lung Relates The Story of Sing Tsung and the Exponent of Dark Magic by Ernest Bramah This story was first published in Punch Summer Number, 26 May 1941 and was subsequently included in 'Kai Lung: Six' (The Non-Profit Press, Tacoma, 1974). A hypertext version including the original illustrations from Punch may be found at http://home.freeuk.net/ctol2001/sing_tsung.htm. It has been truly said (reflected Kai Lung, in order to lead up, as it were, to what should follow) that the whole course of an ordinary person's life may be rearranged by so slight a matter as having his gravity displaced at the wrong pause during a speech by a high official. Had Sing Tsung not turned aside to explain to a passing stranger the elusive delicacy of shafts of light produced by the setting sun when seen through the transparent veil of a discarded spider's web, he might never have encountered Hia Cho, whereby much of what ensued therefrom would necessarily have ceased to possess any actual structure. At the moment of their first meeting Hia Cho was standing before a copiously-illuminated scroll depicting an unusually commodious burial-box around which festoons of quam-chee sprays were lavishly entwined. Unaware of the proximity of a not-unattractive observer of the other sort, she was loitering in a pensive yet thoroughly graceful attitude by the wall adorned with this enticing sheet, at the same time unconsciously expressing her thoughts aloud in a voice of bird-like melody. "Among the admitted deficiencies of our otherwise unblemished land may be accounted the system which condemns those of this person's sort to a humiliating ignorance of the import of written outlines," was the trend of her polished lament. "Otherwise it would no doubt be discoverable what natural bond exists between a richly-ornamented coffin of exceptional bulk and a deservedly popular fruit of attractive flavour, or why the one should be presented in the act of clustering thickly around the other." When Hia Cho had expressed herself in this cultivated strain for an appreciable count of time, Sing Tsung deemed it not inappropriate to reveal himself and, as one who had already failed three times at the annual competitions, diffidently offer to expound the symbols' meaning. After recovering from the prepossessing display of well-arranged alarm into which she had been thrown by Sing Tsung's unwonted boldness, Hia Cho ventured to glance in his direction through an opportune defect in the fan she carried, and, having been reassured by the undoubted inoffensiveness of his outward guise, she decided to raise no dissenting barrier. "For," she magnanimously added, "does not the same sun shine on us equally and one earth nourish us both? Indeed, had things been somewhat differently arranged by the Controlling Powers, might we two not have been inseparable brothers?" On the strength of this encouragement Sing Tsung applied himself tenaciously to interpreting the written signs, and presently he was able to disclose a feasible explanation. "This notification is put forth by the 'Ying-chou and Outlying Parts Vegetation Community,'" he declared, "and refers to its yearly assemblage of all varieties of natural growth, when that brought in by whomsoever deems it to excel vies strenuously with what is paraded by all his antagonists." "The spectacle must be an exhilarating one!" exclaimed Hia Cho, with increased sparkle in her capably-directed eyes. "Do fatal results often attend the progress of these dire encounters?" "Not at the time of the trial itself, though there are dark reports of the length to which rival cucumber growers have been known to go in order to thwart one another. But check the melodious rhythm of your distractingly alluring voice for a single span of time while this insufficiently- equipped student wrests the meaning from the lower part of the announcement." "The rebuke is not undeserved," admitted Hia Cho penitently. "Even a nightingale may open its mouth out of season." "On the eleventh day of the Moon of Ingathering the assembly of all varieties of growing things will accordingly take place," continued Sing Tsung, "and as a special attraction the highest award, that bestowed on the grower of the most attractive collection of quam-chee, will on this occasion consist of an exceptionally massive and richly lacquered family coffin." "If one so insignificant may now be permitted to express a thought, it is difficult to conjecture what earthly desire could outweigh that of carrying off so indispensable and enduring a trophy," was wrung from Hia Cho's excess of feeling. "Surely all who read the written words and closely examine the depicted prize must yearn to be acclaimed the victor." "Would the possession be such that the owner of it might attain any particular degree of favour in your eyes?" asked Sing Tsung in an off-hand manner. And in order to maintain his attitude of no-concern he made several ineffectual grasps at passing winged insects. "From the strictly detached angle of one who is not remotely affected by the happening, it is arduous to imagine how even the most ambitious and exacting of her own sort would not be swayed by the prospect of a joint-ownership and ultimate occupation of so gratifying an heirloom," replied Hia Cho, no less remotely. "Thus, in a manner of speaking, he who sets forth to secure the reward might be fitly likened to some intrepid paladin of old who sought to encounter dragons in honour of one to whom he would pay homage." "The analogy may not perhaps be classically exact," conceded Sing Tsung, "but your excessively flattering way of arranging the facts imparts a romantic flavour to the venture. The eleventh of the Moon of Ingathering will either see the hitherto obscure name of Sing Tsung inscribed on the championship bowl of winning quam-chee or mark the extinction of that presumptuous upstart's aspiring hopes for ever." With these significant words, which clearly indicated something beyond his normal usage, Sing Tsung bowed several times with respectful precision and passed on, leaving Hia Cho involved in a very complicated state of not unpleasurable emotion. * * * Those who are accustomed to listen to the narrations of really accomplished story-tellers (as distinct from this illiterate person's immature effort) will have no difficulty in piercing the strategy of dissimulation that Sing Tsung had adopted. He was not an obscure literary candidate, as his references might have led one to believe, but already enviably known as a successful quam-chee grower who had more than once "brushed the floor" at some of the less conspicuous Blossom and Vegetation Assemblages of the province. Having by chance seen Hia Cho through an unguarded lattice, he had formed an ardent attachment towards her merits; but not deeming himself acceptable to her Line (her honourable father being a retired hereditary Legal Tax evader), he had secretly followed her movements day after day in the hope of securing a favourable occasion. Towards this the arranging deities had proved exceptionally complying. With so momentous an issue involved, Sing Tsung now redoubled all his previous efforts to produce quam-chee of exceptional size and flavour; indeed, it is questionable if the excess of stimulation that he lavished upon the roots of his likeliest shrubs in a well-meant endeavour to stir them, so to speak, to enhanced fruitfulness may not have had a contrary effect upon their powers. Permit this how it will, with very few moons before the appointed day, Sing Tsung's orchard had never seemed less flourishing. Calling upon the equally- concerned spirits of even his remotest ancestors to exert their pressure, the one in question resolved to concentrate every influence upon a single plant, and with this end in view he relentlessly cut down and destroyed every other. It was about this time that Tsung received a visit from an influential neighbour. Lowering his voice and speaking from behind an open hand, Chang Toon affected nothing more than a friendly interest in Tsung's fortunes, but not even a blind-worm could have misinterpreted the significance of his message. "Encouraged by your record in the past, Sing Tsung, and relying upon a well-spread belief in your integritous behaviour, a few virtue-loving persons of Ying-chou have ventured even down to their undercloth upon the emergence of your winning number." "Their confidence is a gratifying portent of success," replied Sing Tsung with effusion. "May their enterprising hazard be repaid more than a hundred times over." "Such was the anticipation of their spirited bid when the unevens were stated," admitted Chang Toon, but without any noticeable response to the other's genial manner. "Since then, however, it is not to be denied that your merchantable assets have slid heavily in a downward direction. Pung-fu, a very sombre bird from the Upper Outlands, is known to be enlisting the support of every available Force, Influence, Presence, Substance, Shadow and Being by a lavish expenditure of joss-sticks and detonating fireworks; while it has not escaped the observation of interested crevice-glimpsers that you, Sing Tsung, are not only wholly neglecting these devotional offices but have been detected in the process of secretly counteracting your own existing efforts." "As to that," replied Sing Tsung profusely, "there need be no apprehension. With his scanty means this one could not hope to outbid the wealthy Pung-fu in the matter of propitiatory noises, and to do less would be as profitable as scattering nuts before an advancing tiger. None the less, your discriminating friends may well be assured that when the Eleventh of Ingathering fades Sing Tsung will be the fortunate recipient of a really serviceable coffin." "That is what has already been decided," assented Chang Toon with an unpleasant intonation, "but whether the accommodation in question will consist of a richly- upholstered teak-wood casket or an equally practicable but less ornamental crate of the sort used for storing onions will depend entirely on that day's emergence. Meanwhile, therefore, regard your footsteps with precision. Ten thousand blessings!" In spite of the parting acclaim, this arisement wholly failed to have a beneficial effect on Tsung's drooping spirits, while the continual reluctance of his one quam-chee tree to justify the trust placed in it still further corroded his outlook. He was, indeed, considering the less objectionable forms of self-ending when an omen in the shape of a written message reached him. Following a discreet noise on his outer door, a shred of parchment was thrust into his open hand by one who fled, and on this he read as follows: "Is it not written, 'If you desire to acquire merit, study The Sayings; if to succeed in a business way, sell your sacred books and therewith purchase and display a pretentious banner'? Since the foul and hypercritical Pung-fu has inveigled all Allowable Things to his malodorous cause it remains for the upright and sincere to have recourse to Forbidden Powers. Within the Capital, the street being known as Crooked, look for the Sign of a Mammoth Gourd, and discovering by the latch an inconspicuous knob, press this silently and there declare your errand." * * * Early on the following day Sing Tsung went cautiously, as he had been told and, entering the city by an obscure gate, sought the Crooked Way and the house of questionable doings. This he had no difficulty in knowing, for displayed within its unshuttered lights were coloured representations from alien printed leaves showing blossoms and all the edible products of the earth conjured to a size, perfection and uniformity beyond human endeavour. "This is that which was spoken of outside all reasonable doubt," was Sing Tsung's awed reflection, "for neither in the course of normal husbandry nor relying on Legitimate Arts could such results be attained." Suspended from a pole hung a banner embellished with certain occult signs, among which Tsung recognized the Undeviating Lines and a coruscation of the planets. The name traced on an inscribed slab was that of Lee Q Yung, and he was described as trafficking in an Other-World power (or "powder" the outline might equally be rendered) for enhancing the earth's fertility as by magic. "Would you then," inquired Sing Tsung when he had ventured to obtain speech with the one within, "enable this person's single quam-chee tree to outrange the produce of all others?" "Assuredly," replied the amiable necromancer, but speaking a pleasantly abbreviated tongue that betrayed an alien usage, "provided the other eccentrically-garbed ones have not been placed astute concerning the Lee-Yung products." "You alone then possess this hidden power of magic growth?" asked Tsung, not indisposed to probe the matter further, seeing that - except for a goat-like excrescence from his chin - there was nothing formidable in the wizard's appearance. "Is it in the nature of a Dark Secret - the incantation?" "You are informing this person!" cryptically endorsed the gifted magician with convincing vigour. "Every can of the Lee-Yung 'Fertile Force' is guaranteed and the process fully protected." "Thus and thus," agreed Sing Tsung, feeling that despite his simple need he was becoming involved in the trend of the conversation. "Inscribe the necessary sentence without delay and this person, having discharged a just account, will return to hang the charm in the required position." For a few beats of time the versatile sorcerer continued to regard Tsung closely, but he made no immediate response to the request, as it might be that the substance of what was asked lay somewhat outside his powers. Then, with a gesture that seemed to imply a condition of remoteness, he placed a weighty package before that one and with a lowered voice explained its enchantment. "Scatter what you will find herein evenly about the earth to the measure of a full pace around the trunk of the tree you have chosen. Do this in a period of falling dew and thereafter scar the ground well to remove all evidence of what has been effected. On the following day walk around the tree seven times in each direction with closed eyes and repeating suitable dictums from the Classics. This do as has been said, and in due course the fruit of that quam-chee tree will outvie all other." "May your virtuous Line increase and she whom you select become the ancestress of ten thousand dutiful he- children," was Tsung's grateful response. "Also may your Tablets never fall into disuse and your ultimate out-passing be long deferred and painless." "You have adequately discharged the full contents of a capacious mouth," admitted Lee Q Yung freely. "May you, likewise, never regret the three taels seventy-five cash that is the meagre extent of your obligation." * * * Much has been written about the foregoing events and some of the verse has even been set to music. But concerning the identity of the unknown charm-worker, the nature of his Forbidden Art, even the name of the distant Outland from which (to use his own harmonious phrase as recorded by one narrator) he "hailed" have been lost in a mystifying avoidance. Elsewhere in the bamboo annals of Ying-chou it is to be found how in the third of the second of the then reigning dynasty of Mong, Sing Tsung was awarded a superbly- lacquered coffin, together with a silk-embroidered burial robe, the latter as an especial mark of the Vegetation Community's regard towards one who had "tabled" a bowl of quam-chee so incredibly distended in size that they were also accorded an illuminated vellum address under the mistaken impression that they represented a new variety of melon. In receiving these unique honours at a ceremonial evening rice, Sing Tsung introduced an unprecedented feature into the occasion by generously asserting that some of his success that day was due to the devoted encouragement of his negligible lesser one, Hia Cho of the Line of Liang.