We go, gather, meet, learn and move on, and carry with us the images, discourses, impressions and emotions of the meeting. A conference on today's shamanisms, including both academics and practitioners, is an unusual experience, to say the least, where the mingling of experiences and frameworks to describe these experiences is intense, may be overwhelming, and is itself the subject of the academic analyses (like this one?) which in turn of course may 'sanitise' the experience by presenting it within the safe ground (emotionally though not always politically) of descriptive/rationalist discourse.
So, what to say? That a very disparate group of people, united only by shared interest in 'shamanism', whatever that meant, came together on June 23, 1998; that they discovered that however disparate were the meanings of that word, some common ground could be created through individual talking, even if not always through the paper sessions; that the process involved exposure to ideas, discourses, processes, and was not always unproblematic; and that those who met all had something to give and something to learn, with the most common final experience being -- complete exhaustion.
And that a trip to the Northumbrian grouse moors to see what was to be seen (which for this participant included both the promised cup and ring markings and the Lady's well, and tree spirits) was, for those who could attend, a beautiful, grounding and inspiring experience.
One problem when a group of shamanists -- whether anthropologists studying shamanism, or present-day practitioners of shamanic techniques, or both -- get together, talk, drink, share, debate, experience the academic environment of 'the conference presentation' and the shamanistic environment of 'doing ritual', is that the energies flying about can be disturbing. Emotions become raw, images build up, tensions need to be released. By the final day there seemed to be a considerable amount of 'wild energy' flying around, and several people spoke of experiencing problems of dealing with visions or sensations that were new to them or that seemed to 'belong' to someone else. For others, personal problems or queries relating to their own practice came to the surface. Some found themselves seeking counsel, others seeking support or grounding. At least some found some of what they sought -- though I must confess that my 3:30 a.m. 'counselling', after a day of papers, presentation, heavy-duty ritual to ground all that energy, followed by a wonderful storytelling workshop, wine, and duty-free whisky, may not have been of the quality that I, or the counsellee, might have desired!
With that personal note, I'll end this short account. As they say, you had to have been there ... I wrote the preceding paragraphs immediately after the conference ended, with particular experiences in mind -- talking, listening, giving a paper to people that had some inkling, all of them, of what I was talking about, agreeing and disagreeing with analyses (for it wasn't all agreement, by a long way), speaking with Edith Turner, participating in the amazing healing workshop Jonathon Horwitz gave, counselling and reading runes for a women whom I'd really like to meet again to see how she's doing, dancing in ritual to Gareth's resonant drumbeats, listening to the larks on the moors, seeing the clear water of the Lady's Well, and talking to the trees. (I know, the 'serious' anthropologists switched off when I got to the last point ... I write papers about that, too.)
But, you see, I lost the account, written in pencil scribble on the train to Glasgow... I found it now, August 1999, the day of the eclipse, over a year on, and have transcribed it with very little editing though with the addition of the above paragraph and these now following: and now here it is, on the net. Fieldnotes, reflexivity, situating of knowledge ...
And so I repeat: as a collective, as the creators of a body of knowledge, we meet, and move on. A year later, I look back on some wonderful friendships, which have persisted and I hope will continue to persist; and on a rejoicing in those further, new, meetings and acquaintanceships that have resulted, in part, from that conference. And further, on changes in my life, in my perception of self, and most particularly in my academic work, that were facilitated by my attendance there: changes that began, or were first given voice, at the earlier Winchester conference (thank you, Graham!) where I first said, 'this, I know', publicly, to a receptive audience, and so put myself squarely into the ranks of those doing experiential anthropology in the difficult terrain of heathenism and shamanism.
So, any plans for another one?
Copyright © Jenny Blain, 1999
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Email me at jenny.blain@freeuk.com