As my neck gets tighter still,
I try to think of times gone by:
Try to catch a happy memory
To cheer me up before I die.

Sadly for me, my memory is lost:
My mind is a complete blank,
And so I’ll die an unhappy man,
Strangled here on the river bank.

Suddenly I see a boat going by,
Sailing past the corner of my eye,
And so I ask my stranglers to stop,
And so, immediately, they do,
Saying: “We were just playing a harmless game with you,
But now we’ve finished and so we’ll leave,
And, once again, you are permitted to breathe.”

They go and I lie on the grass, relaxed,
Watching all the boats that sail,
Feeling a bit like Jonah, trapped inside the whale,
But fairly peaceful all the same.

Someone calls out from a boat: “What is please your name?”
And, say I, “Am Lion the Tame,
And I’ll never ever die.
I’m the beast who roams this place,
I chase the speed-boats in a race,
And roar aloud when I see fit,
To keep the tourists well at bay.”

The person on the boat says: “I bid you good day,
Now shut your mouth and go away.”
Taking their subtle hint, I scarper to the nearest town,
Climbing up a massive hill, then falling all the way down.

I want a move, a change of sight,
And so the train station seems the place most right.
I buy a ticket to ‘Anywhere at all’ -
That is where I most want to go,
And end up on a train that is incredibly slow:
Six miles per hour at the very best.
This is putting my patience to the test.

This is to be my voyage, a trip into my future,
Never more a lion to be.
I think I’ll become a fish instead,
And drown myself in the sea,
Or maybe I’ll be a dog instead,
I’m really not that sure;
All I really want to know
Is what am I here for?

Life is a puzzle and it’s got me confused.
I’ve banged my head against the wall so much
That my face is cut and bruised.
Now I’m stuck with nothing more to say,
And so, to my life, I bid good day,
And then, from life, I’ll go away.


© 2000 Matt Everett