It is our sad duty to inform you, our faithful readers that one of our Editors has been struck down with tuberculosis. At the moment he is receiving treatment in the building misleadingly called the ‘hospital’ and, we are happy to report he seems to be rapidly regaining his health. Luckily TB is a curable disease (unless one is fortunate enough to contract a multi-resistant strain, which can not be treated with any known drugs) if the patient receives a cocktail of four drugs with unerring regularity for a period of at least 6 months. What is surprising is not, that only one of us has been struck, considering the spread of TB in BangKwang.

Imagine 20 grown men shoulder to shoulder, coughing, retching, yes just exhaling breath, while fans whirl overhead. Now imagine one of these 20 men is infected with TB (only a fraction of those infected actually develop the symptoms of TB) and exhaling bacteria with every breath germs that can remain suspended in the air for hours, even years until the germs are inhaled by someone else and so on. Only because the spread of infection in the body, in 9 out of 10 people is halted by the immune system, are we not all sick with TB.

Were all inmates of BangKwang prison checked for TB infection more than 90% would mostly likely show a TB infection. World-wide, an estimated two million (or 1/3 of the population) are infected with the TB bacillus and 22 million people have full-blown TB. With 3 million dying every year from the disease. Most die because they are poor and they can not afford the proper medicine. Exactly the same in BangKwang, where you have to pay for your medicine yourself.

The only way to do anything to diminish the spread of TB in BangKwang would be to check every inmate and isolate those not infected. Then the prison could slowly treat the ones with full-blown TB first and everybody else afterwards. But beware if treatment is stopped before the 6 months are up, the patient won’t be cured and the bacillus, which survives, will be multi-resistant.

If TB is left untreated it kills more than half its victims. Properly treated every case can be cured. So don’t enter BangKwang without money for medicine.

Germany Cut Aid:

The German government has cut it’s financial aid to incarcerated Germans on the grounds that Denmark gives fuck all to incarcerated nationals, and the Germans should be happy with little. Phew! The only reason the British government hasn’t cut its aid is that it already gives fuck all.

Escape From Hell! Breakout

Eleven Thai’s incarcerated in a local nick in northern Thailand beat the odds and made good their escape. How? They simply took the warden hostage and used him as a shield until they were clear, after which they dumped him unharmed. No doubt lots of red faces and demotions all round.

Denied: Pardons Refused

It was a black week in BangKwang the last week in July. Blacker than normal that is after 8 applications for a Royal Pardon were turned down (4 Thais and 4 Nigerians).

One of the hardest things to come to terms with, once you have had the great misfortune to be accused of a crime in Thailand is the complete lack of fairplay or equality in the Thai justice system. For a Westerner this hits as both a surprise and a blow from which you don’t recover before it’s much too late. In the following we will try to explain the absurd and meaningless ‘Thai way’.

Let us begin on the way to court when you want to present your best face to the judge. You can forget all about that in Thailand, you will be herded into court wearing a T-shirt and ill fitting shorts in a shit-brown colour, with heavy shackles clamped round your ankles and handcuffed to another defendant – who with you’re luck, resembles a wizened Godzilla. Your hair will have been butchered upon arrival in remand, the style most resembling the effort of a kid improvising with kitchen knives. No pin-stripe suit or hand-made tie, instead you will wear huge stains of sweat on account of being transported to your hearing in a bus stuffed to with double the capacity with humanity (all shitting themselves with fear). Imagine the impression and the guilt written in your sweat!

Then language! As a non-Thai speaking foreigner you will have no way of understanding the court proceedings, nor any way of defending yourself against hostile witnesses, false accusations or outright lies, as all the proceedings are conducted in Thai and without the simple luxury or what should be legally mandatory; a translator provided. Furthermore the legal counsellor provided by Thai law rarely speaks even pigeon English, making a cruel joke of the concept of defence. Everybody is guilty! In Thailand anybody unlucky enough to be charged with a crime is considered guilty until a court rules otherwise. As a result one is held on remand (i.e. in prison) until the final ruling. Thailand has a 3 level court system and both defence or prosecution can appeal any verdict by a lower court. The accused remains behind bars in the meantime. The average time frame for a case to move through the 3 courts is 5-6 years! So a person who is innocent and acquitted in both the first and second courts will still spend almost 6 years in prison- unless the accused is so lucky so as to pay the prosecutor not to appeal, even if the case is thinner than a supermodel!

What about bail then? The granting of bail is solely in the hands of the judges, though he/she tends to follow the wishes of the prosecutor. For most crimes, bail is a question of having enough money (only exceptions are drug cases-fuck the DEA!). in a corruptible circumstance you will be handed a price list upon request which includes a hefty commission for the judge and prosecutor for their ‘goodwill’ in not opposing bail.

Can one plea-bargain? Well it is illegal in Thailand, but if you plead bargain as charged you are automatically getting only half the original sentence. This option has its advantages (especially in a case punishable by death!)

Won’t witnesses help? If you have one or more people you wish to subpoena as witnesses it is entirely up to you to get them to attend, which is pretty tough going, seeing as you will be locked up incommunicado.

Give it to us then. How long will you get? Thailand has draconian sentences, especially concerning drugs. If caught with 100g of heroin or more, you face the death penalty (whether you have 1kg, 10kg, or 1 ton do not matter. You will receive the same sentence: Death! If you plead guilty though, this will automatically be halved to a life sentence.

If you decide to defend yourself, then you will most likely end up with the Death Sentence! Basically, if heroin were found in your possession (your bag, car, house, boat, plane etc,) plead guilty, because according to Thai law, whether you knew of the drugs or not, do not matter, you are guilty (even if the owner owns up and tries to absolve you, you will both be found guilty). And remember even if you are acquitted in third court, you will still have spent 6 years behind bars, with thousands of dollars being wasted on lawyers.

As a foreigner you have one more option to influence your sentence (which is a non-option really, except for Yanks) which is co-operating with the American Interpol or DEA. Those who end up with a sentence of less than 50 years for more than 100g of heroin have pissed over the integrity and done this. For the record all editors have sentences have sentences of 50+ years.

Your original sentence is of paramount importance to most foreigners, since 25 countries have signed a transfer treaty with Thailand; a treaty which is unique in the sense that Thailand demands ‘lifers’ serve 8 years in Thailand before they can transfer home to finish their sentences, while any numbered sentence only have to serve 4 years. It is not hard to imagine what you will do to avoid spending an extra 4 years in a Thai prison.

But this is only for the lucky ones. If your country does not have a treaty, you’re only hope of freedom is to be granted a royal pardon. Which is a personal plea of leniency to the King of Thailand, who can pardon anybody, he wishes. Before reaching his majesty, however, the pardon is being evaluated by the Thai government and the ensuing verdict will, in most cases, be followed to be granted a pardon before you have served about 12-14 years. You have to have official support from your country of origin, many are the lucky people who have left Thai prison after serving 6-7 years on a pardon, because of a compassionate home country. And many are the ones, who have been rejected, because no support was forthcoming. If you are ‘lucky’ enough to be extremely ill (Aids, Cancer etc) you can apply for a pardon on medical grounds. Which you, if you are still alive, will most probably be granted after an evaluation period of one to two years.

Your last hope of freedom is the amnesties, which the King of Thailand grants every 3 years or so. But as a drug offender (which covers 95% of foreigners in Thai prisons) you are not eligible every time. Drug offenders were not included in the 1992 amnesty, but were included in 1996. And how much you’re given depends on your prison class (Thai prisons have 5 classes from excellent to very bad) you’re age, you’re time served, you’re crime, you’re age etc.

We should also mention the possibility under Thai law of being paroled after serving 1/3 of ones sentence. A minimum of 5 years however must be served regardless. Having excellent class and employment in Thailand, if you are a Thai that is! Foreigners cannot get paroled, since they are thrown out of Thailand upon release. A real catch 22!

So, if you enter the Thai (in) justice system, you enter a grand lottery, where you’re life is at stake. Forces out of your control, or even influence spin the wheel and whether the arrow ends on 3,6,9,12,15,21 or more years of incarceration is totally random. Not because of your crime, the amount of drugs you had. Not because of your previous brushes with the law or who you are. Not because of fair play. Definitely because of justice!

In the recent past a couple of roguish Western inmates wrote a letter to ‘The Body Shop’. I believe that they were pleading for any product to rid them of their odours of which all us inmates have due to our environment. Then lo & behold a few weeks later all the Brits receive a parcel via Prisoners Abroad. Great the scam idea worked. Here’s a list of a few of the products:

1. Shaving Cream – A really good product.
2. Face Cleanser - Good for zits.
3. Mud Soap – Hmmm.
4. Nut Body Butter – Wrongly named should be ‘Nut Butt Butter’. The Ka-toi's (ladyboys) gave 10 out of 10!
5. Leg Cooling Gel – Oh! The middle leg. Best wank in years. Thank you the ‘Body Shop’

Mad Monks

The Nation : The novice monk who caused revulsion throughout Thailand for having grilled a still born baby to extract it's body oils is to star in a movie based on his life and the black magic he uses.

Harn Raksachitr, the heavily tattooed former novice known as Nane Aer, whowas sentenced to a year in prison for the grotesque act but is now out on bail pending results of his appeal, will appear in a film called Nane Aer Chomkha-mangvei (Novice Aer the magician)

The man making the movie, Surm Chaumpanrch, owner of Green Pictures Co, defended his decision to sign Harn.

Anticipating reactions against the film, Surm denied that it was being made to take advantage of the outrage that followed the former monks activity.

Molesters

It is with utter disgust we, sadly have to announce the arrival of a British pervert to BangKwang prison. The despicable child molester received a well-earned sentence of 45 years imprisonment for raping and abusing ‘Sea Gypsy’ boys on Phuket Island

Apparently Mr Darling (talk of a name for a ponce) believes to be the reincarnation of the Roman Emperor Nero. Need we say more about this rotten boil, whose face should often have close encounters with steel-toe capped boots! We can promise you dear readers, that this leaking pile of pus will spend as horrible and lonely a time as possible, where the hellish reality of BangKwang will be increased by his isolation from us foreign inmates and wherever we are able we will increase the misery of this squashed ‘roach’.

Ferocious Gambling

The world cup sparked rounds of ferocious gambling in good old BangKwang Prison. Fortunes were won or lost on single games. In some cases more than 50,000 baht (approx. 600 quid) by one player. Obvious result, violence and mayhem and letters to send More Money!

True Face of a Thai

This is the final mask of an average Thai. We in Bangkwang are amongst the privileged few to witness this.

Far different from the famous "Siam Smile"

The lesson of this tale is that for stationary life forms a brain is no longer necessary. It does not take a genius to work out that this is what has happened to Mr Jack Straw on attaching himself to the position of home secretary. Whilst in the process of consuming his brain he informed, yes grassed on his own son for possessing a little marijuana.

No chance of him helping us in this hellhole then is there.

What a world!