The World of King Dollar the Dreadful

Who is my human slave?

My human minion is called Ellen and she has been my chief human since she rescued me from the RSPCA as a kitten. My human cares for me hand and paw in every way, and I have trained her to respond to my non-verbal cues for food, affection and to open doors. Unfortunately, my slave's services are only part-time, as she has to attend paid work, in order to purchase lots of pussy tuna and gourmet titbits.

She has been known to leave me for weeks on end (years in cat talk) to visit other countries. She puts me - the King - in prison called a cattery. Down right cruel I say.

I feel compelled to catmail you regarding the importance of a puss' tail. As you all know, the tail is a highly important part of a puss' anatomy; it indicates mood, invokes great respect (especially among the unfortunate tailless) and even assists in toileting! Typically, my tail is luxuriant, majestic and held high with a slight kink at the end if I am feeling relaxed. Under normal circumstances, an erect tail can also be compared to a certain hand gesture from an irate human! However, I have learned the hard way that a highly held tail is a target for a mean looking vet approaching from the rear armed with a thermometer. Unfortunately, 'the Amy' has absolutely no idea of what to do with her tail, as she wags it like a dog (excuse the swear word) and thus brings our tails into disrepute. Training 'the Amy' in pussy etiquette will be my next challenge...
His Awful Highness, King Dollar the Dreadful