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Welcome to King Dollar's World! |
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 Back to the Boring Biker bit |
Who am I & where am I? |
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Who am I? Fancy not having heard of me! For those uninformed among you, I am Dollar the Dreadful, King of the beasts - a ferocious feline who some mistake for a domestic house - puss (just before they are eaten!) I am actually an extremely rare pygmy tiger, currently being held in captivity by a benevolent human who (naturally) adores me. I possess a gorgeous ginger coat, and I am the most stunning feline I know. Where am I? I currently reside in Wollongong, Australia, but I may soon move to the African jungle (which, I believe is just over my back fence). |
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DOLLAR'S WARMING WINTER
TIPS:
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Position self
on or near the hot box for the entire winter. Stay in this spot unless
removed by your human or the hot box becomes cold. If the hot box loses it's appeal, select the cosiest cat or human bed. If 'The Amy' is there first, move her on with a deadly glare and or a sharp nip to the hindquarters. If feeling especially malicious, lie/sit directly on 'The Amy' for warmth - because you can! Maintain your position until she ceases to struggle or you become bored or caught by the human. Insist that your food and liquids are warmed thoroughly. Should your gourmet pussy tuna be served chilled, show your displeasure by immediately and noisily vomiting on the sheepskin rug. Consider hibernation if your human can be trained in the precision art of hand feeding. Extra food may be required for body fat/insulation (I know that I need more!). Consider eating 'The Amy' or possibly continue to fatten her up 'for a rainy day'. Dollar the Dreadful, King of the Beasts |
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DOLLAR'S CATTITUDES DINNER THAT IS STILL WRIGGLING IS A PREFERRED OPTION A WELL TRAINED HUMAN MAKES A GOOD PET HUMAN PETS SHOULD BE CONSTANTLY AVAILABLE FOR FELINE SERVICE DO NOT ALLOW YOUR HUMAN PET OUTSIDE OR SHE MAY WANDER OFF AND BE LATE FOR YOUR DINNER I AM THE MOST GORGEOUS FELINE I KNOW AS A MALE, EVERY ROOM IN MY DOMAIN IS MY TOILET A TAIL IS A PUSS' GLORY IF A SCRATCHING POST IS NOT AVAILABLE, USE 'THE AMY' OR YOUR HUMAN PUSS' RULE!!! |
LET'S PLAY: "SPOT THE
DOLLAR"
See Amy's page for her cattitudes! |
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