They say we came from bats and frogs
From hippopotomi and scabby dogs
From random accidents and happenstance
From mutant monsters made by chance
They say the world is very old
And that the fossils do not lie
That hydrogen transmutes to gold
That minnows given time will learn to fly
They say that Noah never built an ark
Or bravely sailed to Ararat
With elephants and great white shark
And dinosaurs and stuff like that
Of course he did, he must have done -
It's written down, it's not for fun.
Unless you're telling us the Bible lies:
Who are you, friend? Lord of the Flies?
Beelzebub don't speak no truth -
Sows gloom and doubt in muddled minds -
Sits plotting in his hellish booth
Of planting new, deluding fossil finds!
It's what he does, it's how he works -
He uses worldly intellectual pride,
The simple faithful vilely led astray by academic jerks
In whose brains old-time down-home godly trust has died.
Sage Isaac Newton knew the truth and told
How entropy proceeds from warm to cold
From order to disorder step by step
Oh he was right - you betcha life, by golly yep!
You talk of open systems and of closed
And tell us Newton's law works differently in each:
Just tricks with words and logic - quite opposed
To how we argue and the ways we teach!
You clever evolutionists
(Deluded fools, agnostic scum,
Mad pinko fiends with your limp wrists)
You know the battle's over and who's won!
Our godly army marches proud and tall
With flaming torches raised up hot and bright!
Bring out your wicked books - we want them all!
Our bonfire stretches high into the night...
Burn on, foul Darwin and the rest,
Burn on until you've turned to ash -
We saints, we holy ones, know what is best -
We'll save your souls and take your tainted cash!
by Norman Pridmore