PART 2
My name is Jesus and I am
A kind of mix of god and man
I came to earth from up on high -
I told myself I had to die
It was the only way I had
To unlock heaven for the bad
To open Paradise so bright
And save damned souls from Satan's night.
I don't know why I had to do
This awful thing, my friend - do you?
I mean it would have made more sense
To simply take down Heaven's fence,
Let everybody all come in
Forgiving each and every sin.
I didn't really need to damn
To Hell each woman and each man:
I think it was the Eden air -
I'd made it pr'haps a touch too rare.
I could have said "Oh what a farce!
It's hardly sin - I'll let it pass.
A bit of fruit? For goodness sake!
What's that you say? A talking snake?
You want some knowledge? That's no crime:
I'll give you things called books, in time.
You'll be more int'resting that way -
Have clever, thoughful things to say..."
Perhaps I wasn't thinking straight...
Hang on - I'm God! My thoughts are great!
I'm always right, I'm never wrong -
My mind is constant, true and strong!
Oh I recall - it was the blood!
In some moods, friends, I need a flood!
It's strange, but when you are a God
You do things that can seem quite odd.
Some bloodlust here, some vengance there,
A bit of murder everywhere.
I get these moods, I'm not sure why -
And in them I make mortals die.
(Or suffer misery and pain,
Or lose their minds and go insane!)
It's nothing more than harmless fun -
I see them right when all is done!
Where was I now? Oh yes, I know -
I had to get some blood to flow...
And as a very special treat
It was from my own hands and feet -
Though when I say that they were "mine"
I have to draw a careful line
Between what's 'God' and what is 'Me'
And what belongs to 'Number Three'
- I mean of course the Holy Ghost
(In rhyming slang the "Sunday Roast" -
We like such little jokes up here:
Eternity can be so drear!)
So anyway I came to earth
(oh such a laugh, that 'Virgin Birth' -
You should have seen the poor kid's face
The shock! The anguish! The disgrace!).
And Joesph, he was pretty grumpy -
A dad without the rumpy-pumpy...