I once read some theology -
I thought that it might help.
But it seemed senseless trash to me,
An irreligious whelp.
Aquinas, Luther, Calvin, Zwingli,
Melancthon, Barth and ol' Don Cupitt -
I read until my eyes were tingly:
I read until my brain turned stupitt...
I turned back to those words of God
Recorded in the Bible:
Sheer tedium made my head nod -
It was so cruel and tribal.
Let's check out the Koran, I thought,
And that weird Book of Mormon,
A few Upanishads I bought
(well, how could I ignore 'em?)
Some Buddhist scriptures too I read,
Translated from the Pali.
I read that strange 'Book of the Dead'
And sermons about Kali.
I slowly went right round the twist -
Confused? I'll say I was!
But I worked through my reading list
Because... Because... Because....
Well, somewhere in this dross uncouth,
I thought, there's some Idea,
Some Word, some Sign, some Primal Truth
To make life's purpose clear....
I chanted Hari Krishna, too,
And chatted to some Moonies,
Did yoga till my arse turned blue:
I surfeited on loonies.
I talked with hippies, New Age freaks,
About their laid-back ways -
To get some sense took weeks and weeks
(I was not that amazed....)
Oh yes, I checked out Sree Rajneesh,
And Guru Maharaji,
I smoked some excellent hashish
And ate an onion bhaji.
I read the 'Barefoot Doctor's words
And practised meditation -
I analysed my flaccid turds
With no sense of elation.
Evangelists would come my way
With wildly flashing eyes
And offer to kneel down and pray
To make my spirits rise.
Such gloom, such grim despondency,
When would it leave my mind?
Whatever could be wrong with me?
What answer could I find?
One day, loud on the wireless,
Some pious priest was talking
In tones both calm and tireless -
He was a parrot, squawking.
I laughed out loud to hear such bunk
And all fell into place -
Religion's all inhuman funk,
Dishonest, crass and base.
I left the nursery behind,
The nursery of fear,
Opened the door, drew up the blind -
Walked into daylght clear....
Around me raged the human stream
Of tragedy and grace.
Awake, I ceased my troubled dream
And light shone from my face.
by Norman Pridmore